It wasn’t until February of 2010 that I came to realise how volatile one’s life could be.

The world changed. And so did everyone’s lives. Surely, the iPad keynote and Obama’s State of the Union address must have changed the world somewhat significantly.

Certainly, I was miffed about the iPad. But there was more to worry about as the world around me changed, whilst leaving me behind, alone. It was an extremely pesky thought. The superficial grievances could go.

It was… seeing past alliances splintered into multiple factions, forcing you into a habitual choice or a state delirious dilemma. Both sides have risen to the top, leaving you behind in the wake of their skirmish. It made me think just quite how hapless the situation was for me.

Just how far down did the rabbit hole go?

And then, it was… seeing those photos on my Facebook news feed. Almost everyone I knew at school has moved on to a Junior College. Those ostensibly fun moments that I could only, possibly experience vicariously. I am, although quite thankfully posted to a Polytechnic, filled with regret – the inevitable aftertaste that comes after each important decision.

I’d told myself that the feeling of regret would have been amplified more than a hundred-fold had I picked the other path. That didn’t work.

… but something did. Something made all these worthwhile. Something I couldn’t explain. Perhaps time will tell. Perhaps? Perhaps, things will be different, I hope, just like Niko Bellic.

Time and again time has tested me, and I failed. Time and again adversity tried me, but I failed. What would make me think otherwise?

I asked myself constantly. I ruminated. I pondered. And then the answer came to me, not unlike an epiphany.

Hope. Hope of a better future; hope of less suffering – hope.

And then, the only thing left that followed, was a question. Something more to ponder about.

“Were it so easy…?”

Life could be volatile, I knew now – but it could also be really evasive with its answers.